Thursday, 31 December 2009


This post is brought to you by gold lamé hot pants and the fireworks going off frighteningly close to my front window.


Half Nekkid New Year's Eve

I've only done a couple this year so I thought I'd go with my favorite theme of mine from the ones I HAVE posted & bring up my adoration of my freckles again but with a new pic. I'm glad my freckles last even into the dead of a grey British winter, though they do get FAR more.... zealous in the summer... After a good long day in the sun they can start to overlap and make me look near-leprous. :DDD When I was little my mommy called them my cinnamon sugar sprinkles & my beloved 1st grade teacher called them my sunkisses.

That's my offical HNT today but I took these last night when I was bored & couldn't sleep and I love them, so they're getting thrown into the mix:

Damn, I'm a dork.

Also when I was bored & insomnia-ridden I sewed my T-Rex button onto the EPIC HAT OF EPIC PINKNESS AND EPIC FLUFF that I scored for £3 at Claire's.

I win hats forever.

Sunday, 20 December 2009

One of these mornings, you're gonna rise up singing.

I would trade all of my tomorrowsGet it while you can
And I'm no better baby and I can't help you no more than I did when I was just a girl
You expect me to fight like a goddamned mule
Your love brings life to me
Don’t turn your face away from me, dear, oh you leave a lost girl

Thursday, 17 December 2009

Half-Nekkid Thursday again.

I haven't been to sleep yet on Wednesday night, but as it's nearly 5:30 am, it's definitely Thursday. *sigh*
This patch of insomnia has been horrendous.

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday, y'all.

I really love my freckles. My elbow's all red from hours of leaning on it, playing facebook games in bed all night.

I'm really almost almost ALMOST done with Christmas knitting. Slightly over 2/3 of a scarf and stuffing an already-finished ball with catnip. Really, that's all I have left. It should be exciting, but I'm just drained at this point. I've got a migraine building that I'm afraid will be horrid. I have the Iceland ad song stuck in my head constantly, and it's driving me waaaaaay past round the bend.

Do you even REALIZE how luxurious selfish-knitting is gonna be? So soon I can almost taste it.

Also: I would cut a bitch for a candy cane.

Tuesday, 15 December 2009


Ok, after that total dorkfest of a last post, I think we should bring it back to what we all know you're all REALLY here for. My boobs and tiny Marlon Brando.

Thank you.

There are so many incredibly generous, wonderful people in my life, and almost every single one of them that isn't related to me by blood is there because of the internet. I'm serious. Even my British family. I wouldn't have the amazing in-laws I do if I hadn't met Owen on DeadJournal like, a million bazillion years ago. Past, present, future... DeadJournal, LiveJournal, AOL, Suicide Girls, MySpace, Friendster, Gmail, Twitter, Ravelry, Facebook.... the people I care most about that aren't in my life because of the internet are all so far away now that the only way I can keep in touch is with the internet.
Thank you, you bizarre collection of ones and zeros.

Sunday, 13 December 2009

Home Stretch.

I'm almost done with giftmas knitting/crochet. After much travail and swearing and tears and SUPER helpful input from my poor, put-upon husband, I settled on a chunky-ass fisherman's rib scarf for SIL's boyfriend. It may or may not get to have pockets, depending on how long it ends up and how much yarn I have. I'd love pockets on it, but he's tall, fisherman's rib DEVOURS yarn.... so we'll see. I've got to finish a ball for my kitty but I can't do much more until I have some 'nip to put in it and I have to felt it first and then make sure I can still stuff it and finish it and somehow felt the finished bit by hand, dry..... *sigh* But anyway. Everything else is done.

Mitts for SIL:
Capelet for MIL:
Convertible mittens for FIL:
Little wrist purse for GrandMIL:
Beardy hat for BIL:
Boat for Uncle-in-law:
And here's the fraction of the scarf for SIL's BF:
And the going-to-be-felted-and-filled-with-nip ball for Tessy:

And surprises for Weezie & my husband that you don't get to see until after they've received them, but they are both fucking acebest. Just hope none of the rest of the fam reads this. XD

I feel really kind of bad that my actual blood-fambly gets squat because I've had to focus on getting things done for people that will actually be there on Xmas morning to have something to open. But my mom & dad got stuff I made for their birthdays in Sept & Oct respectively, and I made my bro that Trilobite hat recently, too..... I *will* get to them, and my grama.... I feel bad, though.

Let's do a meme.
Unconscious Mutterings.
Word association.

  1. Up :: in the air
  2. Scram! :: cat!
  3. Smell :: coffee
  4. Belong :: family
  5. Doug :: awful cartoon
  6. Collar :: bell
  7. Squirrel :: "and they were married..." (we totes just watched Office Space)
  8. Chinese :: food
  9. Tracker :: gps
  10. Apartment :: highrise
Now is time for watching Goodfellas, working on that scarf (good thing I find fisherman's rib so incredibly soothing, this scarf has been stressful), and farmville. ALWAYS FARMVILLE. *addict*

Wednesday, 9 December 2009


I have been in one.
What The Hell Wednesday.

TV crap
  1. Omg tiger woods was in an accident…what do you think? Couldn't give any less of a shit.
  2. Coke or Pepsi? post your favorite commercial: Coke, obvs. I'm from Atlanta. THERE IS ONLY COKE.
  3. What is your favorite Christmas show you can watch over and over again? The Charlie Brown Christmas Special. It's... special. :)
  4. Man got arrested for throwing a tomato at Sarah palin…what do you think? Arrested? For THAT? She's lucky nobody's taking pot shots.
Finish the sentence
  1. I will never forget…....that one thing... that time.... yeah, when... you know, those people... with the stuff?
  2. If I only had a … *sings* Brain... A Heart... A Home... The Noive!
  3. Life is full of… Fraiser reruns.
  4. You might be a…secret mayor.
Holiday madness
  1. What is one thing you hope Santa leaves under the tree for you? A buttload of yarn.
  2. Do you have holiday cheer or are you scrooge? I HAVE SO MUCH OF THE CHEER THIS YEAR!!!! Even my badplaceness is not affecting my love of Xmas.
  3. What Christmas carol if you heard one more time makes you want to poke your ear drums out? I don't know, it's some stupid song in a commercial over here for a department store or a car or some shit about how we fell in love in the winter and then rhymes "down by the fireplace" and "embrace" or something.
  4. Real or fake tree? Real. Even though I'm allergic. I'll gladly stuff myself full of Benadryl for the importance of having a real tree.
Last but not least..
  1. Name a song that gets stuck in your head or post a video clip of that song: That stupid one I just mentioned up there. I don't wanna go looking for the ad, I like not knowing what it's for.

Sunday, 6 December 2009

Hormonal Musing.

I feel like my endometriosis is some sort of Lovecraftian invader, not quite fungus, not quite animal, tentacling and Shoggothing all around, sucking up and killing every working part of my inside ladybits, making growths and webs and lesions and so much fucking pain. The closer I get to starting IVF the worse I feel about it, the more scared I get that it's taken over so much of the inside of me that I will never be able to have children.

You've already killed one whole ovary, what the fuck more do you want, you bastard?

Friday, 4 December 2009

I hafta pee.

1. You get a tipsy blogpost.
2. Turn right to be facing another direction.
3. It's peeing time.
4. The fact that I got dressed at all today is ridiculous!
5. I feel more awesome than you.
6. BUBBLES!!!!! omg!!!...goodnight!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to prolly some more Southern Comfort, tomorrow my plans include dunno, maybe some Christmas movies or some shit, I'm feeling festive and Sunday, I want to be a kitty!

This blog post has been brought to you by the letters S & C.

Sunday, 29 November 2009


Unconscious Mutterings word association.

  1. MacGyver :: Patty & Selma
  2. Garter :: stitch
  3. Wedge :: shoes
  4. Inches :: feet
  5. Code :: blue
  6. Water :: running. YOU TRICKED ME by making the next word "running," what else would I say?
  7. Running :: away
  8. Curly :: whirly
  9. Turkey :: sammich
  10. Stupor :: drool
(don't read this)
It's not ok. These things don't distress me. I am unflappable, when it comes to fanfic pr0n stuff. Whatever you wanna write about whoever doing whatever to whomever from your favorite novel/movie, it's cool. THIS IS NOT.
It's not ok.

Also neither is this, but that is clickable, but it may just make you angry at the universe. Really, Britain? REALLY?

Saturday, 28 November 2009

A meme a day keeps the readers away...

Boy Day: Assassin's Creed and Stargate.

<--- I make that face.

Hub has got his new video game & watched his backed up episodes of SGU which I, for some reason, can't stand. I'm a big sci-fi geek & I love Robert Carlyle. I just can't get into it. Assassin's Creed 2 is much more pleasant background noise, but that's 'cause it's set in renaissance Italy & I'm also an art history geek.

I finished the first of the convertible mittens for my FIL for xmas. I love it and desperately hope he will too.

They're a little big for me & a little small for my husband, so hopefully they'll fit his dad perfectly.

Friday, 27 November 2009

I posted this on Rav, but figured everyone needed to see it.


Now featuring BUTTHOLE!
Also: HarleenQuinzel’s Rainbow Brite’s Horse’s Afterbirth On My Head & HarleenQuinzel’s Pilfered Neck Pillow as bakground scenery.

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Sorry, kittles.

In a mood?

1. Wait! Wait, don't forget the human sacrifice!
2. The slinky slinked down the stairs followed at once by her head.
3. The trouble is she was a bleeder.
4. Somewhere, a juggler is weeping many miles away.
5. With a faint pop her implants imploded.
6. The French mime crept up behind you, shadowy and ominous.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to not having the landlord futzing around in my bathroom anymore, tomorrow my plans include blessed nothingness and Sunday, I want to sleep a lot!

Thursday, 26 November 2009

I am a turkey. Kill me.

For the love of all that is pure and good and right, make a hand turkey today.

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

What? It's Wednesday here technically.

What The Hell Wednesday.

1. This Thursday is Thanksgiving. Tell us something you are not looking forward to.
Missing my family & "proper" celebration of Thanksgiving, even though my British family does the most wonderful things for their li'l token American. <3

2. What is the one thing you are most thankful for this year?
Getting our debt stuff on the track to being sorted out.

3. Most families get together for the holidays. Are your family gatherings on the pleasant side or do they tend to be more drama filled?
Usually pretty mellow. Depends on how big a gathering it is, a couple of the uncles aren't too thrilled with each other most of the time, but it's rare that everybody's together like that.

4. The President has decided not to call his tree a Christmas tree, but instead is calling it a Holiday tree. Do you think this is a good idea, just plain stupid or you could care less either way?
It's a toss-up between thinking it's stupid & not giving a shit in the least. Actually no, leaning towards stupid as he is so insistent on and public with his faith.
**edit edit edit!** Thank you, @aimalyn.

5. Are you going shopping on Black Friday and if so are you insane?
Shopping on Thursday, bitches! PHEAR MY CULTURE CLASH AND OPEN MALLS!

6. What is up with Santa and his Hos?
Well, obvs Mrs Claus is his bottom bitch.

7. Do you have any favorite holiday traditions?
Hand turkeys.

8. I am afraid my 2 year old will attack the Christmas tree this year (she has "oooo shiney" syndrom). What do you suggest I do to keep her from destroying the tree and running off with all the ornaments?
Let her. It's all in the Christmas spirit & kids are allowed extra leeway at Xmas.

9. What is the worst gift you have ever received?
A fucking goat for a fucking starving family somewhere, I dunno. One of those stupid charity things. Fuck that. *I* can barely afford groceries each week. Get stuff for ME.

10. Do think Santa Claus is creepy?
Golly, no. We have a very good relationship.

11. How do you celebrate New Years Eve?
On the sofa.

12. Do you believe in re-gifting (aka giving someone else a present you got but don't like)?
Hells yes.

13. Are you one of those people who save the bows and undamaged gift wrap off of the opened gifts?
GAHHH, no. That creeps me out.

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

Sekrit Revealed!

I mentioned a soopersekrit project for Weezie and now she's gotten it I can show it off.
Back here I told you guys about my Tessy-colored yarn.
Weezie got the very first of it made into...... wait for it......


Which has been sniffed, wrassled, and approved by the real thing:

And now it is being enjoyed by Weezie!

The end.

Roooooooooby Toooooooooosday.

Today I am working on these:

One day they will grow up to be convertible mittens designed by Emma. I am test crocheting them. That's an awesome light-up crochet hook from Weezie, but you can't really tell from that picture. They're intended for my father-in-law for Xmas. I hope they fit him. I hope he likes them. They're the Xmas gift I'm most unsure about so far. He's all.... classy and English and David Niven-ish. That's hard to craft for.