Wednesday, 25 March 2009

From Jessica's FB. This will motivate me. :D

The first five (cinq) (cinco) (5) people to respond to this post will get something made by me.
This offer does have some restrictions and limitations so please read carefully:

1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make. (No refunds… no exchanges!!!!)
2. What I create will be just for you, with love from me.
3. It'll be done this year (2009).
4. I will not give you any clue what it's going to be. It will be something made in the real world and not something cyber. It may be weird or beautiful. I may even create something totally unbelievable and surprise you!! Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.
6. In return, all you need to do is post this text into a note/post of your own and make 5 things for the first 5 to respond to it.
7. Send your mailing address if you don't live close to me!

IMPORTANT: This offer is null and void if I do not see you post your own note to pay this forward.

Friday, 13 March 2009

K, I'm doing this thing, just not on Facebook. Sue me. Also, I'm not promising "clever," wtf?

Pick an artist and, using only song titles from that artist, cleverly respond to these prompts.

ARTIST: The Cramps

1. Are you male or female: Bikini Girls With Machine Guns
2. Describe yourself: Naked Girl Falling Down The Stairs
3. How do you feel about yourself: All Women Are Bad
4. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend: Jackyard Backoff
5. Describe your current boy/girl situation: Hard Workin' Man
6. Describe your current location: Lonesome Town
7. Describe where you want to be: Dames, Booze, Chains & Boots
8. Your best friend is: Elvis Fucking Christ
9. Your favorite color is: What's Inside A Girl?
10. You know that: Sheena's In A Goth Gang
11. What’s the weather like: I Can't Hardly Stand It
12. If your life was a television show, what would it be called?: Journey To The Center Of A Girl
13. What is life to you: Mean Machine
14. What is the best advice you have to give: Don't Eat Stuff Off The Sidewalk
15. If you could change your name, what would you change it to: Haulass Hyena

Wednesday, 11 March 2009

Mr G

I would like to introduce Mr G:

That is (predictably) short for Mister Gorilla. Mr G is, in just about equal proportion to my husband and my kitty, the most important thing in my entire life. I've known him WAAAAY longer than either of those other guys combined. I found him at the circus when I was little, rubber banded to a stick, of all things. I rescued him and he has spent literally every night with me since. He's been all over the world with me (he does NOT travel in suitcases, he sits with me on planes and gets a seat of his own on road trips) and knows absolutely every secret I have ever had. He has a deep, gruff voice and can be rather surly at times. He's massively protective of me, and I wouldn't have married Owen if Mr G hadn't approved. He's put up with a lot, and known a lot of people. My family and friends and everybody I've dated have known him and understood his awesomeness. Sometimes he hits on my mom. They have a very special relationship, actually. She always tries to keep him when he visits her. Mr G might not want me telling this to the world, but I trust you. He is the head of the Gorilla Mafia and has a lock on the world's banana supply. He has.... well.... occasionally a bit of a drinking problem, but he's really a good guy. Every time I watch King Kong he watches with me, he even came to the theater with me to see the remake. We loved it. He's been to Rocky Horror with me many times of a Saturday midnight, and spends every Christmas morning and New Year's Eve with me, right in the thick of things. He's got a little New Year's hat he wears every year. He was the ring bearer at my wedding, he preceded me up the aisle with the best man, and he had a little satin ring pillow and everything. (Yes, he did come on the honeymoon. I said he spent every night with me, and I meant every night!) My in-laws know him and love him, too. He doesn't mind being used as a pillow sometimes, or even an armrest while I play my DS in bed, but his favorite thing on earth is to have his face between my boobs while I lay on my tummy to read. He is exceptionally comfortable. I've sewed up many owies on his arms and legs and my mommy gave him a nose job before the wedding. I often give him kisses on his nose and the original vinyl had worn away to flakes, so she sewed him a lovely soft leather nose that is supremely smoochable. He likes the ladies A LOT, but sometimes when he's had a bit to drink he can hit on anything nearby. Since I learned to knit nearly a decade ago, I have been promising him the bright orange overalls he wants so bad, I think I may have finally developed enough skillz to confidently attempt this sometime soon. Mr G is what I would grab if the house was on fire and I love him with everything I have in me.

Friday, 6 March 2009

Twitter is evil.

Today I have had the changes-from-the-book/ending of the Watchmen movie *AND* the season of America's Next Top Model that is currently on in the UK spoiled for me via Twitter.
I am deeply, deeply upset about this.
People need to think.

Also I got my second LSG traveling scarf.
I used a pattern from my new book which I was LSG-RAK-ed, Ocean Breezes: Knitted Scarves Inspired by the Sea. Is called Mermaid Mesh, and I love it madly and want to make a whole scarf of it sometime, but the yarn I used is a tail-end of one ball I had and is so nice that I am spoiled and wouldn't like the pattern in anything crappy, which is all I actually have.

I'm also doing another one from that book just for myself called Ocean Currents. It's also incredibly gorgeous and looks nice in cheap yarn, which is a TOTAL plus.