I would do this even if there wasn't potential free yarn involved.

Ok, y'all. One of the most beautiful, strong, inspiring and inspired women I've never met, my wonderful friend Brooklynne, has launched her online shop at Grrrl Shaped Yarns. She's having a blogging contest to win a special skein of her fantastic yarn AND a pattern. She, like me, left her native USA to move across the world for the man she eventually married, so one day either I'll go to New Zealand to meet her or she'll come to England, or we'll meet somewhere in the middle because I don't think I could go the whole rest of my life without actually meeting such a kindred spirit. But this isn't about her. This is about her yarn. No, I lied. It's about me. It's ALL about me. No, I'm serious. Her (imho) most gorgeous yarn is inspired by and named after....

......wait for it......


ME!


Here is Patience Ann, a purple superwash merino. Like me, it is random. Like me, it's always different. Like me, it "has a firm twist, and is soft yet durable." Like me, it is machine washable and tumble dryable. And finally, most of all like me, it is cheap.

There's only three of it. There may be more or less of me that that, I'm never sure on any given day. But I can assure you that like the yarn, I am a limited edition.

The fabulousness of me aside, you should go lookit the rest of her shop, too. Her other yarns are GLORIOUS. She also does custom dye jobs and has some of those fabulous pointy, lovely needles that I can never afford. She's just starting out, so bookmark that shit, y'all. There is more coming. She's also a straight-up GODDESS. I'm not even kidding. Pure deity-caliber, this girl. Generous, hot, funny, creative, supportive, and fantastic in every way.

I think I've passed 150 words without even trying.

Yeah, yeah.

1. We need a new washing machine.
2. I made something for Weezie and it made me smile.
3. If you want to see it, you'll have to wait til she gets it in the mail.
4. Aside from that, I'm pretty stymied in my gift knitting because mostly I don't have yarn that I need but also because Farmville is sucking my soul away.
5. Massachusetts has a proposed 5% sales tax on elective cosmetic surgery; I think it totally makes sense.
6. A good tranquilizer prescription makes for a happy holiday.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to my husband being home with me, tomorrow my plans include lots of cleaning and Sunday, I want to find a way to get out of doing even more cleaning!

Half-Nekkid Thursday.

I have 21 minutes til it's not Thursday anymore so all you get for my first HNT is a quickie before bed...


Once upon a time I was the Goddess of Thursday. There are only a couplefew of you that read this that will remember that, though. ;)

Best. Hat. Evar.

Earflap puffball hat with detachable/adjustable beard/stache for BIL for Xmas. Fucking WIN.


SO tempted to keep the damn thing for myself. You know you want it, too.

Sunday Stuff.

It was another long, lovely, lazy morning in bed.

And another lazy, meme-ridden blog post.

Sunday Stealing, the OTT meme.

Part One - Describe:

Your hair? Orangeyred, maybe half an inch long, growing out of a buzz, with a couple inch long Tank Girl tuft at the front.

Your mother? Beautiful, strong, heroine, goddess, the ultimate Girl Scout.

Your father? Brilliant, healer, consummate teacher, hero, Captain Science.

Your favorite food? Leafy, prickly, green, steamed, layered.

Your dream last night? Unmemorable.

Your favorite drink? Vanilla coke from a fountain, properly with syrup.

Your dream/goal? I want to have babies and dress them as things. At least one boy & one girl. Elvis, Yoda, Batman, the possibilities are endless.

The room are you in? Bright, a little chilly, cozy, cluttered, home.

Your hobby? Sticks and string. Soothing, stressful, textures, rhythms, mindless, mindful.

Your fear? Finding out definitively that I won't be able to have a baby.

Your TV? Big, full of EastEnders.

Your Pets? Crackheaded, perfect, sweet, stupid, ridiculous, best, precious treasure.

Friends? Few, but important.

Your life? Chugging along.

Your mood? Iffy.

If you're missing someone? Mommy, daddy, brother, grama.

Your best friend? Is married to me.

Part Two - The Where's?

Where do you want to be in 6 years? A bigger house, maybe in Idaho near my parents, firmly in the throes of motherhood.

Where were you last night? Smack on the sofa. Then in bed.

Where did you grow up? Smyrna, Georgia. Same as Julia Roberts.

One place that I go to over and over? The gas station up the road. Anytime we need anything, they probably have it or a suitable stopgap there.

Your favorite place to eat out? Scalini's, back home in Georgia.

Wish list items? Seriously?

Last time you laughed? A few minutes ago at how badly they're hiding the actress that plays Tanya on EastEnders's very obvious pregnancy.

Last time you cried? During Girl, Interrupted. The Wizard of Oz scene.

Part Three - The What's?

Something that you aren't? Pleased that I'm out of nail polish remover.

Last thing you did? Chipped away at my nail polish.

What are you wearing? Yankees sweats, Napoleon Dynamite shirt. Lazy Sunday chic.

Something you're not wearing? Underwear.

Your favorite store? God, I miss Wal*Mart like nobody's business.


Aaaaand:
Unconscious Mutterings.

1. Grace :: Jones
   
2. Shower :: Bath
   
3. Alice :: In Wonderland
   
4. Purple :: Rain
   
5. Apartment ::Complex
6. 3 :: Is a magic number
   
7. Car :: Volvo
   
8. Pregnant :: Dearest wish
   
9. Counselor :: Dad
   
10. Discretion :: Secrets
    

Very cool.

I'm just going to copy and paste this entire email from my dad into this blog post because I think it is ace and I don't think he would mind.
____________________________

Tonight a new woman arrived in the valley, just days before Lois.

This one is a witch!

As the brewmaster of Grand Teton Brewing pointed out...

"We've brewed our Black Cauldron Imperial Stout to recognize and honor the women in the history of brewing. Brewing has been women's work since the dawn of civilization. In all ancient cultures, beer was a gift from a goddess, and women maintained status and power through their skills as brewsters. This remains true today in indigenous cultures from Asia to Latin America, Africa to remote villages in Scandinavia. Around the world, women baked bread and brewed their own beer.

In Europe, the rise of cities brought commercial brewing, as governments realized the potential tax revenue to be had from large breweries. By 1445, the first all-male brewers' guild was established, the campaign against witchcraft burst forth across Europe, and the purge of women from brewing had begun. Beer historian Alan Eames has written that, when an occupation was listed, most of the women burned for witchcraft in Europe were brewsters or alewives.

Most of the imagery we associate with witchcraft today originated with the brewster. The large black cauldron bubbling over with foam? A brew kettle, of course. The black cat? Necessary to keep rats out of the grain store. The tall pointed hat? It allowed the brewster to be seen over the heads of taller men in the marketplace. A broom? The symbol of household domesticity, it is still associated with brewing all over the world.

Without the work of these women through the ages, it's entirely possible beer would not exist today."

What a history lesson, and what a beer!

It was released to the public for the first time tonight and of course I was there to explore the dark.

Three of the first glasses of Black Cauldron ever drawn from the tap. One was the original, one was aged on coffee beans, and the third was bourbon aged. Purist that I am I preferred the original to the other two.

Bruce toasts the brewsters, witches that they were. Blessed be. And popcorn.

_______________________________

Also that is the Jughead hat I made him for his birthday. :)))

Meme time!



Farmville, Smallville, traveling scarf... good life.

Yeah, they're not a very exciting 6 words today, but it's not a very exciting day. It is set to be a mellow day. I'm excited to find a stitch pattern for the traveling scarf I got today, it's all so gorgeous & the variety of interesting stitches makes me want to equal what's already been done. We both seem to be decidedly getting well this time, my cramps are fading, the weather is AWFUL, which makes our little house seem that much more cozy.... yeah. Mellow day. Here's hoping.

AAAHHHHH OMG TONY TODD JUST APPEARED ON SMALLVILLE AND SCARED THE CRAP OUTTA ME. There goes my mellow. If anyone's gonna harsh your mellow, it's the fuckin' Candyman. *shudder* God, I love him.

Dear FailCow:

If I ever meet you in person, (cowson?) I will renounce my admittedly lax vegetarianism and eat you raw, you cunting whore.



1. The last band I saw live was Tori Amos, does she count as a band? She had one behind her...
2. What I look forward to most on Thanksgiving is being incredibly, brashly, obnoxiously American in the UK and demanding turkey and cranberry sauce. (if you don't celebrate thanksgiving, insert your favorite holiday)
3. My Christmas/holiday shopping is null & void. I am knitting/crocheting everything.
4. Thoughts of the epically traumatic sleep paralysis episode that really, really fucked me up this morning fill my head.
5. I wish I could wear dinosaur footie pajamas. That would mean I owned some. I really want some. Badly.
6. Bagpipes are beautiful and my daddy plays them wonderfully.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to my husband being home, tomorrow my plans include hopefully Nando's with Weezie & Gav if they're well enough and Gav isn't imaginary as I suspect, and Sunday, I want to cuddle a lot!