Fearne Cotton's eye makeup looks AMAZING, ye gods, I want her makeup man.
She's apparently right up next to Seacrest in the holding tank, which gets her some propz.
I loves me some Hannah Montana, bitches. Deal with it. So, naturally I wanted to see her dress.
Interrupting myself to say WTF THE FLAGS??? Stupid Fearne did that at the stupid Golden Globes with the stupid British flags, forcing them upon celebrities who clearly DID NOT WANT.
Back to Miley. I wanted to see her dress. But this Sky Movies coverage is showing the top half of celebrities ONLY, as yet. I don't understand it. Only Dominic Cooper is talking to Fearne. No real celebrities will want to talk to her, will they. Ooooh, I might offend some British people. Call the waaaaahmbulance.
For the record, I will be drinking this:
Domaine des Lauriers Vin de Pays D'Oc SYRAH GRENACHE
Thick, rich concentrated dark plum nose. Big and bold with a slightly sweet chocolate flavour. Peppery on the finish. Good balance, structure and depth. A superb red which really outshines its classification - stunning & different!!!
ZOMG Tony Hopkins FTW. He is a sex god. HE LIKES FEARNE'S EYESHADOW TOO, we are soulmates meant to be. Please eat my sweetmeats, Tony, please.
Gotta pee.
Can't. It's back on. Someone I don't know. Ohhhh Zac Efron. Psht.
Also for the record, during tonight's events, I will be working on this (and hopefully finishing it):
Multidirectional Scarf in Noro Silver Thaw given to me by the too-wonderful-to-be-believed and too-cute-to-even-be-real Mimi. You should buy things from her, she is amazing and beautiful. Someday I will snuggle her head and take her to the zoo. Maybe on our holiday with booze and rainbows.
Kevin Kline WIN! He is so best, I love classically trained actors that do comedy films. It makes me very happy in my black little heart. DAMMIT FEARNE, quit trying to winkle out secrets from the people involved in the show. They don't want it spoiled, we don't want it spoiled, DIAF, kthxbai. Not really Fearne, you're ok. But stoppit with the secret-winkling.
Still have to pee.
Ooh, good time, stupid little video about Fearne and someone I've never heard of planning their outfits or some shit.
That was a good pee.
SEACREST FTW!!!!
Commercials.
So here, let's have one from me, our lovely sponsor:
Here is the aforementioned Dream Swatch headwrap from previous post (again with the Simply Soft):
Plz to ignore weird cockatiel hair goin' on in the back.
This British red carpet coverage is, so far, FAIL.
FEARNE - do not stand in front of the dress about which you are asking/commenting. Presenting fail.
My lip balm tastes of violets.
Oh Fearne.... They have weird stock footage from someone else showing the *REAL* celebrities' dresses cut into Fearne's "interviews" of the dregs that will speak to her. Not that Dr Lecter is a dreg. But he may drink me to mine.
Oh, girl-from-Mama-Mia, red dresses on the red carpet just blend in and you look bad in the photos later, even if the dress itself is a masterpiece.
It irks me how British people say "boogie." They say the Boo syllable as though they are a ghost. Americans pronounce the oo as in book. It sounds less silly that way. That word needs all the unsillying help it can get.
Oh gods, it's the Twilight kid. I feel for him. How bad must it feel to have some 13 year old girl come up to you, dripping in blood, having sliced her neck for you.... You being an ACTOR playing a ROLE in a MOVIE. Poor kid, seriously. My mom's insisting I read the books. I may or may not.
OH GOD AMY ADAMS coming up next. Oh golly PRINCESS GISELLE!!!
NOOOOOOOO SARAH JESSICA PARKER LOOKS LIKE A FOOT.
I refuse to look at the tv again til she's gone.
LA LA LA I Can't Hear You, FootFace, your marriage is ending, hahaha, step away from the Matthew who is too good for you, kthxdai.
Josh Brolin? Win. Lookin' nice. Ben Kingsley took a flag, bless his heart. Owen is stewing over Kingsley's not going to the Oscars when he's been invited in the past. He (and I) desperately want to go. Someday when Alamo & Tess is adapted into an Oscar nominated film, we will be there. Oh, Marissa Tomei! Or does she have 1 s? I dunno. She's too bony. Eat something, sweetie. Mickey Rourke on deck, apparently. He loves the UK, he should talk to Fearne. It's so hard to reconcile deeeeeeelicious Angel Heart Mickey with now-Mickey.
I want to see Doubt ever so badly. OOOH MICKEY!! He's such a fascinating man. Deeply, deeply fascinating, I was so sorry to hear about his little doggy Loki. I wish I could've hugged him when I heard. Gaultier suit, Mickey, hot hot hot. Oh!!! He's got a photo of Loki on his chains. Bless. What a dear, dear man.
QUEEN LATIFAH!!!! MAH BIZZNITCH!!! Want to be.
I have to pee again.
Le sigh. Bladder the size of a pea. Smaller than an average pee, however.
HAHAAAA Peter Gabriel, time to go take a whiz.
FEARNE. You've misused "literally." You are off the cool list forever, sweetie, sorry.
Oh, look, Angelina's wearing black. Ho hum. Fantastic earrings, though. Probably real emeralds. That's my birthstone, hunny, WANT.
NOOOOOO NOT CLAUDIA WINKLEMAN. I hate her, she ruins my Oscars every year I've been in Britain.
I lied before, in the previous post about the only thing I care about being Heath FTW. I also really want Mickey Rourke to win his, too. But Heath is my main concern.
My actual Oscars commentary will probably be much shorter and sparser than this. Just a feeling I have. I haven't seen too many of the movies, because, as I've said, we get movies here so late and we're so poor.
"Lovely Tilda Swinton" my ass.
WOW! She has on lipstick, though. That's some props. But no, just no Tilda. Named after a punctuation mark. ~ Swinton is one of my least favorite people.
I want an anchor tattoo on my bicep. And an oldschool mermaid on the other.
This is stupid. People in the VT segments are saying stuff like "Well, we all want Kate and Danny to win because they're BRITISH!" Bullshit. Bullshit, says my BRITISH husband. We want certain people to win because we believe they are the best at what they do.
FEARNE YOU WHORE, you've done it again. "Awards literally coming out of her ears."
NO. FUCKING NO SHE DOES NOT. Literally is NOT a superlative. Stop it. I hate you so much now, Fearne, you were cool, now you're not. Off the list. Forever.
Now, then.
Right, then. This will be sparser than the red carpet coverage, as there will be less about which to be snarky and I actually want to WATCH most of it.
.....Well. There will still be Claudia effing Winkleman during the American ad-breaks which we don't have as it's on a movie channel here.
*snerk*
Oh, Claudia, I hate you and your fringe and your eyeshadow.
Wow, don't care about Gok Wan's opinions on stars he'll never meet. And he's panned Amy Adams and raved about SJP, I officially hate the man now.
Now he's panning Beyonce. Don't like him. Oh, god, please just stop it, British people.
Props to Portman for pink, though. Alliteration FTW.
Please, stupid British presenters, can we just have the show now?
OH JESUS GOD.
There's an LSG watch-along, I'm Twittering quite a bit of this, and doing this-this. I am fingerdrunk before I am even head-buzzed. This could get ugly.
OH YOU FUCKING HAGS, shut up. I just want to see the goddamn Academy Awards, FFS.
Commercials, jesus, I thought we wouldn't have any. I don't understand British tv, honestly.
Winkleman is a harpy.
FINALLY, the actual show is starting.
Is it can be Oscars time nao plz?
Oh, Hugh Jackman. Hit me with your Wolverine claws, please. Snikt.
Husband re Kate Winslet: "Oh don't start crying already! Bloody woman!"
Lulz.
OH!!! He's gonna sing!!! Thank you, Billy Crystal, for this precedent!
Jackman is a god. Anne Hathaway as Nixon, oh god, this is so great. WIN.
I'm gonna have to switch to caffeine now, it's nearly 2 am.
I've just learned we're getting this awhile after the US coverage so my twittering and LSG-along are fail. I don't want spoilers.
Whoopi looks SMOKIN'. That dress, that tat, oh woman, you are the shit. Shut up, Punctuation Swinton in your clumsily-knotted sack. Props for the lippy, but you need mascara.
Penelope Cruz looks like a My Little Pony.
Ohhhh god, but women speaking Spanish make me damp around the edges.
Nooooo, American commercial breaks mean we have to put up with idiotic British "experts" and "presenters." Please make it stop.
I'm gonna have some Doritos now and knit awhile.
"Writers do not merely write screenplays, they write movies."
Thank you for that, Hugh. I like that quote.
Oh, Tina Fey, you are beauty incarnate.
WHOA!!! Was that Sophia Loren out there in the dark??? Beautiful, beautiful woman. In every sense.
Oooooh, dissing Scientology at the Oscars, balls, yo.
Doritos are not sitting as well as I thought. Craving fail.
Owen and I are thinking that Mickey Rourke's a shoo-in now for Actor because Milk won screenplay. They give that kind of awards to movies that aren't gonna get the biggies. So sorry, Sean Penn. I think he knows it, too, by the look on his face. YAY GLBT SPEECH FTW!!!!
I loves me some ghey Mormons.
Jen should date Jack Black. John Mayer is a shit (ask me, I know). Jen and Jack should hook their hot shit up right now. They could be forever. The knitting is progressing slowly. Too much Twittering, mostly.
Wow, can I just quote my beloved @agnesnutter right now:
DOMO ARIGATO MISTER ROBOTO speech WIN
Wow, don't care what these British people have to heckle about Hugh's song. What a bunch of stuffed shirt, talking head FAILPEOPLE.
Daniel Craig is SO much prettier than SJP. A clown-porn-star's bloated, drowned corpse's ass cyst is so much prettier than SJP.
I so very much want to see The Duchess. Loved me some Georgiana way before the rest of the world jumped on the bandwagon.
WHAT, SJP, WHAT???
"....That looks like the classic Joker of Batman lore, but with a crazed, psychotic twist."
WHAT????
THE JOKER IS A CRAZED PSYCHOTIC, YOU FUCKING FOOL.
Oh, just shut up.
I would *LOVE* to have tea with Dustin Hoffman.
I have to pee again, brb.
ROFL BEN STILLER, rockin' the Joaquin. Hilarious.
Wow. I've just previewed this for the first time. WTF is up with this formatting? I may hate Blogger now, wtf??? It's fucked all my shit up, what is this black and grey and not fixing sizes when I fix the sizes...
CHRIST, I need to see Pineapple Express. Seth Rogen, also a god.
CALL THE WAAAHMBULANCE for this snooty British bitch, whining about the "amateur presenting" of Seth & co. Jesus. Why do they inflict this shit on us, I'd rather see commercials.
Oh, yes, Hugh, sing some more, DANCE, baby, DANCE. I love how most screamy fangirls know nothing of his musical theatre bakground. Is like a secret we share.
Oh ::fluttersigh:: Beyonce, I love you.
Jackman & B singing songs from Grease = gasm of some sort...
I live for musicals. This is just.... oh god, so beautiful.
OHHHH, it was Teh Baz. Makes sense. Totally FTW.
WOOOHOOOO JOEL GREY!!!
Haha, I accidentally typed Joel Great. Seriously. Freudian, much? He is great. Truly.
Lulz, Cuba. He's a good kid, methinks.
Ohhhh, Mr. Walken. There aren't words. "Best" doesn't even come close.
Oh golly. Kevin's short little description of my puddin' Mistah J made me tear up.
You see, I love the Joker. I have since childhood. When they introduced Harley as a character, I identified right away, hence my diamonds:
My right leg is dedicated to my love of Mistah J, mah Puddin'. And Heath came as close as anyone has to achieving the Joker that lives in my head who is an amalgam of lots of performances/comics/fantasies...
OH HEATH OH HEATH YESS YES YES YES YES.
Oh god yes.
I am happy now.
Officially.
I am happy.
Seriously.
Crying, happy, sad, so happy. So crying. Oh golly.
Beautiful man, beautiful role, beautiful movie, sheer perfection all around.
Perfect.
Anime? This Man on Wire dude's daughter is called Anime??? CHIN BALANCE WIN!
Who is this bitch on the little Brit-fill-in commentary shit that thinks the Oscars aren't allowed to be fun? Seriously, who the fuck is she? Sometimes I really deeply loathe English people.
OHHH SNAP, Will Smith went there. "FANS." LOL. Best ever. Oh, Will, why you gotta be a Scientologist? You're otherwise so fuckin' perfect.
Sigh.
OH YAY DARK KNIGHT FTotherW!!!!
Acebest.
I'm getting too old for this shit. I'm SO TIRED. I'm satisfied with Heath. I would like to see Mickey get his (gods, don't let me have jinxed him there, kthxbai) but most of the rest I don't much care about. I'm exhausted. It's 3:37 am now and I am wilting.
EW, Jerry Lewis FTL. I know he does great things. I know this. But he creeps me right the fuck out.
STEPHANIE BEACHAM - that is the whore that is dissing the Oscars. Saying it's not classy it's not this, it's not that, it's too intimate, it's too funny, blah blah blah, I want her to pack up her dried up old haunted cunt and leave. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.
Jesus FUCK, I'm tired.
Oh, wow! Elfman did the score for Milk.... I was not aware of that. That makes me more likely to want to see it.
COME ON M.I.A. FTW!!!
Damn. Bummer. :(
Shuttup, Winkleman.
Jesus, this is degenerating. I think it started out well, but this is just crap down here. I'm flagging. I'm so fucking sleepy. Wake me when Mickey wins.
Oh no.
In Memoriam.
I'm gonna cry a lot.
Thanks, Queen.
NOOOOOOO!!!! This Beacham BITCH was going on and on about how her leading men were in the In Memoriam section, people she knew and loved, blah blah blah including "ROY SCHNEIDER"
BITCH DID NOT EVEN KNOW HIS FUCKING NAME.
I want her to die.
Ooh, Reese looks awful purty!
Danny Boyle in SHOCK OSCAR UPSET... wait no.
Sophia Loren is a goddess and the GWTW music is making me teary.
Oh golly. I want Shirley MacLaine to say wonderful things to/about me.
Hooray KATE! But yeah, predictable. Not waking me up. Not that she doesn't deserve it, what a great girl and a cool dad in a cool hat.
Adrien Brody is yum.
But not as yum as Anthony Hopkins.
HAAAA, Bob DeNiro FTW!
FUCKING WIN!!!! I FINISHED MY SCARF!!!!
FUCKING FAIL. NOT FAIR. I'm pissed now and so is Mickey. I did jinx him, didn't I??? Christ. Not that I don't love Penn, I do, but Mickey, jesus... Not even fair.
Oh snap!!! Win speech, Mister Penn!!! "Shame." Yes. Shame, indeed. Thank you for that. And thank you for your graciousness to Mickey. I'd heard they'd had their troubles, that was a nice gesture.
K, unsurprised, anticlimactic, bedtime now.
Gotta pee.
Can't. It's back on. Someone I don't know. Ohhhh Zac Efron. Psht.
Also for the record, during tonight's events, I will be working on this (and hopefully finishing it):
Multidirectional Scarf in Noro Silver Thaw given to me by the too-wonderful-to-be-believed and too-cute-to-even-be-real Mimi. You should buy things from her, she is amazing and beautiful. Someday I will snuggle her head and take her to the zoo. Maybe on our holiday with booze and rainbows.
Kevin Kline WIN! He is so best, I love classically trained actors that do comedy films. It makes me very happy in my black little heart. DAMMIT FEARNE, quit trying to winkle out secrets from the people involved in the show. They don't want it spoiled, we don't want it spoiled, DIAF, kthxbai. Not really Fearne, you're ok. But stoppit with the secret-winkling.
Still have to pee.
Ooh, good time, stupid little video about Fearne and someone I've never heard of planning their outfits or some shit.
That was a good pee.
SEACREST FTW!!!!
Commercials.
So here, let's have one from me, our lovely sponsor:
Here is the aforementioned Dream Swatch headwrap from previous post (again with the Simply Soft):
Plz to ignore weird cockatiel hair goin' on in the back.This British red carpet coverage is, so far, FAIL.
FEARNE - do not stand in front of the dress about which you are asking/commenting. Presenting fail.
My lip balm tastes of violets.
Oh Fearne.... They have weird stock footage from someone else showing the *REAL* celebrities' dresses cut into Fearne's "interviews" of the dregs that will speak to her. Not that Dr Lecter is a dreg. But he may drink me to mine.
Oh, girl-from-Mama-Mia, red dresses on the red carpet just blend in and you look bad in the photos later, even if the dress itself is a masterpiece.
It irks me how British people say "boogie." They say the Boo syllable as though they are a ghost. Americans pronounce the oo as in book. It sounds less silly that way. That word needs all the unsillying help it can get.
Oh gods, it's the Twilight kid. I feel for him. How bad must it feel to have some 13 year old girl come up to you, dripping in blood, having sliced her neck for you.... You being an ACTOR playing a ROLE in a MOVIE. Poor kid, seriously. My mom's insisting I read the books. I may or may not.
OH GOD AMY ADAMS coming up next. Oh golly PRINCESS GISELLE!!!
NOOOOOOOO SARAH JESSICA PARKER LOOKS LIKE A FOOT.
I refuse to look at the tv again til she's gone.
LA LA LA I Can't Hear You, FootFace, your marriage is ending, hahaha, step away from the Matthew who is too good for you, kthxdai.
Josh Brolin? Win. Lookin' nice. Ben Kingsley took a flag, bless his heart. Owen is stewing over Kingsley's not going to the Oscars when he's been invited in the past. He (and I) desperately want to go. Someday when Alamo & Tess is adapted into an Oscar nominated film, we will be there. Oh, Marissa Tomei! Or does she have 1 s? I dunno. She's too bony. Eat something, sweetie. Mickey Rourke on deck, apparently. He loves the UK, he should talk to Fearne. It's so hard to reconcile deeeeeeelicious Angel Heart Mickey with now-Mickey.
I want to see Doubt ever so badly. OOOH MICKEY!! He's such a fascinating man. Deeply, deeply fascinating, I was so sorry to hear about his little doggy Loki. I wish I could've hugged him when I heard. Gaultier suit, Mickey, hot hot hot. Oh!!! He's got a photo of Loki on his chains. Bless. What a dear, dear man.
QUEEN LATIFAH!!!! MAH BIZZNITCH!!! Want to be.
I have to pee again.
Le sigh. Bladder the size of a pea. Smaller than an average pee, however.
HAHAAAA Peter Gabriel, time to go take a whiz.
FEARNE. You've misused "literally." You are off the cool list forever, sweetie, sorry.
Oh, look, Angelina's wearing black. Ho hum. Fantastic earrings, though. Probably real emeralds. That's my birthstone, hunny, WANT.
NOOOOOO NOT CLAUDIA WINKLEMAN. I hate her, she ruins my Oscars every year I've been in Britain.
I lied before, in the previous post about the only thing I care about being Heath FTW. I also really want Mickey Rourke to win his, too. But Heath is my main concern.
My actual Oscars commentary will probably be much shorter and sparser than this. Just a feeling I have. I haven't seen too many of the movies, because, as I've said, we get movies here so late and we're so poor.
"Lovely Tilda Swinton" my ass.
WOW! She has on lipstick, though. That's some props. But no, just no Tilda. Named after a punctuation mark. ~ Swinton is one of my least favorite people.
I want an anchor tattoo on my bicep. And an oldschool mermaid on the other.
This is stupid. People in the VT segments are saying stuff like "Well, we all want Kate and Danny to win because they're BRITISH!" Bullshit. Bullshit, says my BRITISH husband. We want certain people to win because we believe they are the best at what they do.
FEARNE YOU WHORE, you've done it again. "Awards literally coming out of her ears."
NO. FUCKING NO SHE DOES NOT. Literally is NOT a superlative. Stop it. I hate you so much now, Fearne, you were cool, now you're not. Off the list. Forever.
Now, then.
Oscars Coverage-Coverage Starts Here. Lick it up, baby. Lick. It. Up.
Right, then. This will be sparser than the red carpet coverage, as there will be less about which to be snarky and I actually want to WATCH most of it.
.....Well. There will still be Claudia effing Winkleman during the American ad-breaks which we don't have as it's on a movie channel here.
*snerk*
Oh, Claudia, I hate you and your fringe and your eyeshadow.
Wow, don't care about Gok Wan's opinions on stars he'll never meet. And he's panned Amy Adams and raved about SJP, I officially hate the man now.
Now he's panning Beyonce. Don't like him. Oh, god, please just stop it, British people.
Props to Portman for pink, though. Alliteration FTW.
Please, stupid British presenters, can we just have the show now?
OH JESUS GOD.
There's an LSG watch-along, I'm Twittering quite a bit of this, and doing this-this. I am fingerdrunk before I am even head-buzzed. This could get ugly.
OH YOU FUCKING HAGS, shut up. I just want to see the goddamn Academy Awards, FFS.
Commercials, jesus, I thought we wouldn't have any. I don't understand British tv, honestly.
Winkleman is a harpy.
FINALLY, the actual show is starting.
Is it can be Oscars time nao plz?
Oh, Hugh Jackman. Hit me with your Wolverine claws, please. Snikt.
Husband re Kate Winslet: "Oh don't start crying already! Bloody woman!"
Lulz.
OH!!! He's gonna sing!!! Thank you, Billy Crystal, for this precedent!
Jackman is a god. Anne Hathaway as Nixon, oh god, this is so great. WIN.
I'm gonna have to switch to caffeine now, it's nearly 2 am.
I've just learned we're getting this awhile after the US coverage so my twittering and LSG-along are fail. I don't want spoilers.
Whoopi looks SMOKIN'. That dress, that tat, oh woman, you are the shit. Shut up, Punctuation Swinton in your clumsily-knotted sack. Props for the lippy, but you need mascara.
Penelope Cruz looks like a My Little Pony.
Ohhhh god, but women speaking Spanish make me damp around the edges.
Nooooo, American commercial breaks mean we have to put up with idiotic British "experts" and "presenters." Please make it stop.
I'm gonna have some Doritos now and knit awhile.
"Writers do not merely write screenplays, they write movies."
Thank you for that, Hugh. I like that quote.
Oh, Tina Fey, you are beauty incarnate.
WHOA!!! Was that Sophia Loren out there in the dark??? Beautiful, beautiful woman. In every sense.
Oooooh, dissing Scientology at the Oscars, balls, yo.
Doritos are not sitting as well as I thought. Craving fail.
Owen and I are thinking that Mickey Rourke's a shoo-in now for Actor because Milk won screenplay. They give that kind of awards to movies that aren't gonna get the biggies. So sorry, Sean Penn. I think he knows it, too, by the look on his face. YAY GLBT SPEECH FTW!!!!
I loves me some ghey Mormons.
Jen should date Jack Black. John Mayer is a shit (ask me, I know). Jen and Jack should hook their hot shit up right now. They could be forever. The knitting is progressing slowly. Too much Twittering, mostly.
Wow, can I just quote my beloved @agnesnutter right now:
OMG so shocking. Wall-E? no. NO ONE IN THE WORLD EXCEPT THE WORLD SAW THAT ONE COMING.
DOMO ARIGATO MISTER ROBOTO speech WIN
Wow, don't care what these British people have to heckle about Hugh's song. What a bunch of stuffed shirt, talking head FAILPEOPLE.
Daniel Craig is SO much prettier than SJP. A clown-porn-star's bloated, drowned corpse's ass cyst is so much prettier than SJP.
I so very much want to see The Duchess. Loved me some Georgiana way before the rest of the world jumped on the bandwagon.
WHAT, SJP, WHAT???
"....That looks like the classic Joker of Batman lore, but with a crazed, psychotic twist."
WHAT????
THE JOKER IS A CRAZED PSYCHOTIC, YOU FUCKING FOOL.
Oh, just shut up.
I would *LOVE* to have tea with Dustin Hoffman.
I have to pee again, brb.
ROFL BEN STILLER, rockin' the Joaquin. Hilarious.
Wow. I've just previewed this for the first time. WTF is up with this formatting? I may hate Blogger now, wtf??? It's fucked all my shit up, what is this black and grey and not fixing sizes when I fix the sizes...
CHRIST, I need to see Pineapple Express. Seth Rogen, also a god.
CALL THE WAAAHMBULANCE for this snooty British bitch, whining about the "amateur presenting" of Seth & co. Jesus. Why do they inflict this shit on us, I'd rather see commercials.
Oh, yes, Hugh, sing some more, DANCE, baby, DANCE. I love how most screamy fangirls know nothing of his musical theatre bakground. Is like a secret we share.
Oh ::fluttersigh:: Beyonce, I love you.
Jackman & B singing songs from Grease = gasm of some sort...
I live for musicals. This is just.... oh god, so beautiful.
OHHHH, it was Teh Baz. Makes sense. Totally FTW.
WOOOHOOOO JOEL GREY!!!
Haha, I accidentally typed Joel Great. Seriously. Freudian, much? He is great. Truly.
Lulz, Cuba. He's a good kid, methinks.
Ohhhh, Mr. Walken. There aren't words. "Best" doesn't even come close.
Oh golly. Kevin's short little description of my puddin' Mistah J made me tear up.
You see, I love the Joker. I have since childhood. When they introduced Harley as a character, I identified right away, hence my diamonds:
My right leg is dedicated to my love of Mistah J, mah Puddin'. And Heath came as close as anyone has to achieving the Joker that lives in my head who is an amalgam of lots of performances/comics/fantasies...
OH HEATH OH HEATH YESS YES YES YES YES.
Oh god yes.
I am happy now.
Officially.
I am happy.
Seriously.
Crying, happy, sad, so happy. So crying. Oh golly.
Beautiful man, beautiful role, beautiful movie, sheer perfection all around.
Perfect.
Anime? This Man on Wire dude's daughter is called Anime??? CHIN BALANCE WIN!
Who is this bitch on the little Brit-fill-in commentary shit that thinks the Oscars aren't allowed to be fun? Seriously, who the fuck is she? Sometimes I really deeply loathe English people.
OHHH SNAP, Will Smith went there. "FANS." LOL. Best ever. Oh, Will, why you gotta be a Scientologist? You're otherwise so fuckin' perfect.
Sigh.
OH YAY DARK KNIGHT FTotherW!!!!
Acebest.
I'm getting too old for this shit. I'm SO TIRED. I'm satisfied with Heath. I would like to see Mickey get his (gods, don't let me have jinxed him there, kthxbai) but most of the rest I don't much care about. I'm exhausted. It's 3:37 am now and I am wilting.
EW, Jerry Lewis FTL. I know he does great things. I know this. But he creeps me right the fuck out.
STEPHANIE BEACHAM - that is the whore that is dissing the Oscars. Saying it's not classy it's not this, it's not that, it's too intimate, it's too funny, blah blah blah, I want her to pack up her dried up old haunted cunt and leave. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.
Jesus FUCK, I'm tired.
Oh, wow! Elfman did the score for Milk.... I was not aware of that. That makes me more likely to want to see it.
COME ON M.I.A. FTW!!!
Damn. Bummer. :(
Shuttup, Winkleman.
Jesus, this is degenerating. I think it started out well, but this is just crap down here. I'm flagging. I'm so fucking sleepy. Wake me when Mickey wins.
Oh no.
In Memoriam.
I'm gonna cry a lot.
Thanks, Queen.
NOOOOOOO!!!! This Beacham BITCH was going on and on about how her leading men were in the In Memoriam section, people she knew and loved, blah blah blah including "ROY SCHNEIDER"
BITCH DID NOT EVEN KNOW HIS FUCKING NAME.
I want her to die.
Ooh, Reese looks awful purty!
Danny Boyle in SHOCK OSCAR UPSET... wait no.
Sophia Loren is a goddess and the GWTW music is making me teary.
Oh golly. I want Shirley MacLaine to say wonderful things to/about me.
Hooray KATE! But yeah, predictable. Not waking me up. Not that she doesn't deserve it, what a great girl and a cool dad in a cool hat.
Adrien Brody is yum.
But not as yum as Anthony Hopkins.
HAAAA, Bob DeNiro FTW!
FUCKING WIN!!!! I FINISHED MY SCARF!!!!
FUCKING FAIL. NOT FAIR. I'm pissed now and so is Mickey. I did jinx him, didn't I??? Christ. Not that I don't love Penn, I do, but Mickey, jesus... Not even fair.
Oh snap!!! Win speech, Mister Penn!!! "Shame." Yes. Shame, indeed. Thank you for that. And thank you for your graciousness to Mickey. I'd heard they'd had their troubles, that was a nice gesture.
K, unsurprised, anticlimactic, bedtime now.
Posts
I love you and your Oscar blogging. This post is EPIC and more entertaining than the actual Oscars were. <3
ReplyDeleteThat was.. amazing.
ReplyDeleteI shart with approval