If anybody's even still here, I'm not.
Everything's at my tumblr now, if you give a shit.
http://millarca.tumblr.com
I had the IVF. It worked. I was pregnant. Then I wasn't anymore. Last week I miscarried. My life is shit and I wish I were dead.
Them's the breaks.
I don't really see myself ever using this blog again.

Cat-baiting.

THIS is how to spend an afternoon. Cat-baiting, with interesting skritching noises under the blanket, using the webcam to see her sneaking up, because if you look at her directly, she will ABORT ABORT her pursuit of skritching. <3 <3 <3

Tumblr has stolen my heart, but this belongs here.

Or, apparently, no.

That last post? The "inhibition" photo?
Someone reported me for it on Facebook.
Seriously.
Someone who does not have the balls to fess up so I can block their pathetic ass.

Oh well. I mostly just wanted to post this because it made me lol.

The end.

Yes.

Happy Birthday Marilyn.

You make me brave. You make me okay. You make me. Gemini twin sister lover best secret mirror self friend warning nestmate candle forever.

It's been awhile. I know it's not Sunday yet. Know how much I care?

Sunday Stealing: The Just Because Meme

1. Make a list of 5 things you can see without getting up.
Awesome Clone Wars rug
Awesome Batman clock
Sweater in progress
Signed photo of Billy Dee Williams
Batmonkey



2. How do you style your hair? How often do you cut it?
It's just... um... Like this:

I should probably take the shaved half down again sometime soon. I don't cut it on any regular schedule, though. Trying to grow the long half out.

3. What are you wearing now?
Teal sweater, jeans, shitton of jewelry.

4. What's your occupation? Do you like it?
Trophy housewife. Love it.

5. When was the last time that you took a nap? Was there a special reason?
Hm. It's been some time, actually. I can't remember. Usually it's just because I'm lazy.

6. Who was the last person you hugged romantically?
My husband.

8. What was the last full meal that you ate?
I had some Reggae Reggae Curry Noodles a couple hours ago. That's as close to a full meal as I usually get.


9. What was the last email that you received?
Facebook comment notification.



10. What one website do you always visit when you go online?
Ravelry.


11. What was the last significant thing you bought?
How do you define significant? I spent rather a significant amount of birthday money recently, but on fairly trivial things. Mostly makeup. I did a pretty big Sweet Libertine order a couple days ago.

12. What musical artist did you not get at first, but then became a fan?
I wouldn't say I didn't *get* them, but I did try and deny my love for the Backstreet Boys for a very long time. I gave up. THEY ARE DREEEEEAMY.

13. What do you think about before you go to bed last night?
I'm rereading From Hell, so mostly I've been thinking about grapes and prostitutes and Alan Moore's beard.

14. What was the last CD you bought?
Taylor Swift

15. What is your favorite weather, and why? What's the weather like today?
I need sun to live. Today it's grey and rainy and miserable.

16. If you could have a special artistic talent, what would it be?
Oh god, I wish I could do anything, but lately I've been desperate to be able to draw. I just can't.

17. Did you watch the Idol 9 finale? If yes, what are your thoughts?
Fuck that shit. I will never understand America's madness for forgettable, interchangeable, bland, easy-listening, douchebaggy, soft "rock" guys. Crystal should've won.

18. What's something you'd like to say to someone right now?
WTF dude, we went to school together for four years, my bff stalked you in a ridiculous manner, YOU KNEW ME. Why don't you remember me? I am so confused.

19. Any special plans for this (holiday in the States) weekend?
It's a holiday in the UK as well. And not really. We're going to the inlaws' for a joint birthday dinner for me & my BIL on Monday. I will hopefully get some more presents.


20. Besides your current S/O, who was the last person that you loved romantically?
A really very sweet guy who I just didn't quite love as much as I did the guy who would eventually become my husband.

My Lovely Day.

Yesterday I had a lovely day.
Wednesday is my birthday so I have claimed both weekends either side of it. I AM BIRTHDAY PRINCESS FOR NINE WHOLE DAYS.

Yesterday, all I knew was that my husband had a surprise!outing planned for me to London. We turned up at the first place we were due and I didn't know what it was until I saw a trashcan that said NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM. And I squeeeeeeed. Because I am a dork and I love museums and SCIENCE.

But I did not know why we were "due" there at a certain time. It is just open and free. But lo! There was a BUTTERFLY HOUSE!!!!! We had tickets!!!!!!
This is kind of a big deal. My husband is sosososo scared of butterflies and moths. He knows I love love love them and wanted to do something very special for me for my birthday, so he got us tickets and was SO BRAVE. He only clutched at his hat and whimpered a VERY FEW times!!! He didn't even rush me. He was a stalwart knight, and true. There were VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLARS and a huge luna moth and big lazy white flutterbies that looked like flowers drifting in the air and ones that were just brownyboring on the outside but when they opened their wings, they were OMG BLUE!!!!! And iridescent green ones and tiny orangey ones and yellow ones that were shaped so pretty and SO many other ones!!! They were so fluttersome and beautiful and it was just magical.

And also we spent a lot of time in the main museum. There were dinosaurs RAAAAWWWWRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! And Owen bought me 2 beautiful chunks of rose quartz, one tumbled and one un. They are treasures. And I was very brave and went in the arachnids section of the creepy-crawlies exhibit, but I don't want to talk about that. *shudder*

Then we had many hours until the next surprise thing, so we wandered over to the V&A museum and looked at some more beautiful, beautiful things. I am such an art history dork. The intense happiness I feel in museums makes me feel like my degree was worth something. We discovered a beautiful little courtyard garden with a fountain that had beautiful little nymph-children splashing around in it and we bought ice cream and sat in the sun with our feet in the fountain.

I got about a zillion more freckles and worked on my stripey legwarmers that are my birthday present to myself. Oh, it was heavenly! OH! And also I got a new bracelet made of wood. I love bracelets and I love things made of wood and I love bracelets made of wood.

Then we wandered around some more and found the place where the next surprise was going to be. All I had heard was that there would probably be pink involved, and that I would enjoy it more than Owen but that he would still have a fabulous time. I had NO clue.

But then I looked up......

And I apparently squeaked. Though I do not recall doing so. I do, however, believe it. Because I was VERY EXCITED OMG. I bounced around for another hour or so, popping in and out of little shops around the theater and I got some OMFG WAFFLE FLAVORED LIPGLOSS and we went to the Disney Store and passed a little shop that was closed but had a cardboard standup of Matt Smith in the doorway and there was a lipstick kiss on the glass which made me VERY HAPPY, and then it was SHOWTIME!!!!!!

Waiting in line to be admitted, however, I spotted something that meant that my husband (who does genuinely love a good musical and would have had a great time anyway) would quite possibly explode from excitement and enjoy it about a MILLIONDYTHREEVELEVEN times more than he imagined.

Starring as the baddy law professor was....


....wait for it....

No?

Roll back about 30 years and add some celery...

BOOYAH. PETER MOTHERFUCKIN' DAVISON, BITCHES.
The Doctor.
Not just The Doctor, but Owen's Doctor. HIS Doctor. That was the most special surprise of all, because even he wasn't expecting it. His parents bought the tickets for me way back in January.

We saw the ACTUAL Doctor with our ACTUAL eyes. He sang. He danced. He was amazing. Oh, Doktah!!!!

The entire show was FABULOUS. It was funny and sweet and just right. The songs were WONDERFUL and catchy, and the Gay Or European song is the best thing to happen to musical theatre since Wicked. Seriously. HILARE.

Plus OMG OMG YOU GUYS! TINY DOGGY IN A BAG!

It was just the most wonderful day EVER!

Happy Anniversary, Half-Nekkid Thursday.

Rose quartz is my favorite thing because it is exactly the same color as me.

Did I mention that I heart tumblr?

Here are some of my favorite themed tumblrs that you should probably follow if you are any kind of awesome:

Distracted By Star Wars
Fuck Yeah Freckles
Fuck Yeah Delirium
Disturbing Images
Fuck Yeah Girly Art
David Tennant's Tongue
Fuck Yeah Gotham Girls
Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Beiber
Girls With Tails
Fuck Yeah Christina Hendricks
Fuck Yeah Lips
Ginger Fix

Tumblr makes me happy in a somewhere-between-twitter-and-proper-blogging sort of way.

Personally, I'm still a big old mess. Things are so wildly out of my control at the moment. It's almost my birthday. I'm going to be 29. I haven't any recent knitting projects finished in a show-off-able state. I keep starting new things without finishing any old things. I have so many forms to fill out. My nail polish is peeling off. They keep remaking movies that there's no need to remake. What if the IVF doesn't work? What if it DOES!?!?! Why isn't there any wine in the house? I really love the Eleventh Doctor. Strangers keep adding me on Facebook. This book is really cruelly beautiful and you should probably read it. I haven't finished it yet. I never fall asleep before dawn anymore. I'm pretty bummed about Dio. Buy me a ruby? Birds are very loud. Tell me a story?

OHAI.

Next few days, I will be a walking, talking, shrieking, weeping, pouting, hurting, raging, bingeing, hissing, passive-aggressive, just-plain-aggressive, offensive-and-badly-drawn-cartoon, circa-2002-animated-gif-you-would-even-be-ashamed-to-put-on-your-myspace-back-in-the-day, stupid-slogan, hormonal stereotype. But, hey. My rack looks fantastic.

I honestly disagree with most of that it's-all-about-hating-men sentiment up there. I hate you fucking whore bitches just as much as I hate those dickwads.

Just wait til they start me on the IVF hormone shots. Then the real fun will start.